When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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