I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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