hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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