I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
