I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
