It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm just crazy horny about you
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
