genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
