No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
