haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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