Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
