And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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