I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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