Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
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Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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