We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
