so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
