you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
