Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
