is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
