It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
