dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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