Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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