Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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