You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
