Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
