She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
