I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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