lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
