I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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