I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize