pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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