Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
and i looked up. we had an audience...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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