love makes seman taste better
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
