I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
