you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
