im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
