I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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