All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
