I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
