I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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