You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
accomplished twins. life is a go
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize