hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
