Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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