I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
