You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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