just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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