one might say we're banned from that church
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
