Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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