Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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