YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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