marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
