wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
