Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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