Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
