How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
