How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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