maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
