Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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