yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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