Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
