im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize